Lockdown: the effects and environmental impacts of lockdown and distance learning on a typical suburban household

Let us take a few minutes and examine the effects of lockdown on the daytime habits of our subject group.

Distance learning is a dramatically different way of spending the day, and it has produced some interesting behaviors.

The alpha male of the group works best in a quiet environment. He shows pronounced solitary tendencies. The first two weeks of lockdown (before school got back online) were spent cocooned in the garage, away from all other interaction. Now that distance learning has begun, he likes to work hidden away from others in the group, preferably behind a closed door. He is a vigourous defender of his territory, and will forcibly eject any and all intruders from his chosen work space. This eldest male was an early adopter of social distancing, and in fact the onset of social distancing can probably be dated to his entry into high school.

The older female likes to burrow into a comfortable place, most often her bed. She emerges when she's hungry, but it has been observed that her feeding schedule is often not synchronous with the rest of the family, and she is seen foraging for food at odd times of the day.

She can often be found experimenting with grooming the younger female. They both have more time to give this and so the hairstyles are getting increasingly elaborate and taking longer and longer to do. This would never be tolerated by the younger one in times when they weren't stuck indoors all day.

The younger female is showing herself to be very adaptable to a distance learning environment. She has shown herself to be an enthusiastic adopter of all technological outlets to maintain her requisite several hours a day of chatting time. She is a persistent thief of unattended devices, which she snatches and runs away with so that her chatting and texting time can continue uninterrupted. She is never getting her own phone.

The younger male also likes to burrow into a comfortable place to work. He builds himself a secluded but comfortable nest, which gets padded with various blankets and stuffed animals throughout the day. This male is easily distracted and his nest can often be found stuffed with shiny plastic objects - nerf guns, puzzle snakes, and infinity cubes are the most typical examples. As distance learning has continued, it has been observed that he keeps his nocturnal plumage on well into daylight hours. He is often to be heard chanting 'distance learning sucks' or 'I hate distance learning' repeatedly and often.

Distance learning was honestly a challenge; both boys would have opted out if they could; Adam essentially did. Nicholas truly hated distance learning, I've never been more grateful for the end of term to arrive. Even though summer looks like it's just going to be more of the same, the next few weeks will hopefully be less stressful!